The Sun is Down.

I had just gotten off the phone with a friend of mine when I realized I was hungry. The realization was stark and sudden - it felt the way it does when you see a person being shot in a movie. There is a moment of plain confusion, a wide open space full of blank pages, and then everything is filled with scribbles and words that only make sense when the camera pulls back. I was hungry. I was surprised I was hungry, and perhaps that made the hunger seem more important. It wasn't the kind of far of hunger that one sees...hunger that slowly humps the horizon as it makes its way to your stomach. It was sharp and painful and required immediate attention. I did what any other man would have done. I ordered Dominos Pizza.

I used the online order because if technology has done anything for us it has made us cognizant of the fact that we can be as lazy as shit and get away with it. This is something that I am not particularly averse to, except that my vanity is affected over time(I would get fat) so I tend not to use the laziest methods available to accomplish things. In this instance I did - even knowing that I could simply walk outside and a few blocks away to procure food. Midnight, the clock hitting 12 and striking 12 times, does not mean that food is unavailable, unless we are counting in pumpkins and glass slippers.

The pizza arrived at 12:20 and I went downstairs to get it, where I discovered that I had not paid with a credit card online and had, in fact, been required to have cash. This was news to me - if there is anything else that the internet has begrudgingly taught us, it is that electronics muck things up just as much as they speed up the process. In the end everything tends to average out and you find yourself a little more frustrated, having saved no time, and really gained nothing except a tingling need for Excedrin. I had to go upstairs to get my wallet and, as I was turning to enter the secure door of my lovely apartment/fortress building, I noticed two teenage kids standing outside walking past. I paid no notice to them(who pays attention to teenage BOYS) and went upstairs, grabbed my wallet, came back down, and walked out to find that those two lovely rapscallions had robbed the pizza guy of his money. Which amounted to 13 dollars. Which was somewhat on the same level of sadness as the fact that he had been robbed.

I ended up calling the manager and doing a CC transaction and paying for the pizza while tipping the poor guy 13 dollars to make up for the loss. That was when I discovered that the kids had stolen my goddamn pizza along with the money, and I was furious.

I was hungry, I was a bit scared, and the security guards that finally showed up did nothing to assuage my problems. It was absolutely wonderful.

-Rich
I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade